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How to Write Landing Page Bullets that Sell

This might sound offensive but…
… when writing sales copy, you have to picture your prospect as a lazy bum to grasp how hard your sales copy has to work to motivate them to BUY.
You must approach them as a lazy 70’s stoner and assume that they have the attention span of a 4 year old (about 2 seconds).
Motivating them to buy is difficult…
…unless it’s CLEARLY demonstrated that it’s worth it for them to do so.
Write Better Sales Bullets

Magic bullets

I’m going to show you how you can use bullets in your landing page copy that get those lazy prospects to TAKE ACTION.
Before we get to that though, here’s why bullets are an important essential part of sales copy that haven’t been given their due respect.
Bullets are much more than a way to break up the copy… but most people are UNDERutilizing them.
They’re missing out on an opportunity to make more sales, increase transaction size, and hammer sleepyheaded prospects over the head with benefits.

  • They make the reading process easier and INCREASE READERSHIP.  There really is no other way to convey so much information in a small area without overwhelming the eye with paragraph text.
  • They are “eye candy” for your prospects.  They provide a way for you to cosmetically enhance specific text simply by putting it in bullet formatting (see my previous posts regarding cosmetic enhancements) so the skimmer’s eye will have a reason to dig in and read every word of the entire marketing piece, and better convey the point, the benefits, and the offer,
  • Best of all, they give you a chance to highlight the benefits of your product or service with a “one-two” punch (a concept taught by Bill Glazer) that’ll make them irresistible.

It’s that last point that we’re going to discuss here… the “one-two” punch.
I’m going to show you how to give your bullets a one-two punch you can use to maximize the profit you get out of the sales copy you already have. 
Just like a boxer who follows up his first punch with the second that puts his opponent on the ropes, your bullets will have a powerful effect on your prospects, because they’ll deliver double the benefits.
Hopefully by now you already know that you must highlight the BENEFITS of your product or service as opposed to its features.  I won’t spend too much time on that here, but suffice it to say that it’s the benefits of what you offer that really sell it, not the features.

Let’s look at an example…

For instance, if you sell customized garage storage systems one of the features may be: All steel construction.  But the big benefit is strength that can hold up to 1000 lbs. every 4 feet.
Now here’s the really cool trick…
There’s almost always a SECONDARY BENEFIT that should be highlighted.  When you add that second benefit to your bullets, they become response boosters that really crank up the volume of your copy and get you more sales.
Let me show you what I mean.  Here’s some bullet copy that does a good job of focusing on benefits…
Benefits pointed out (not just features), check.
But there’s more that can and should be done to get your prospect to focus on what you want them to focus on.
You want to paint a picture of a different, better life with your product or service.  When you add the second punch to your bullets (the second benefit), the benefits become overwhelming … in a good way.
You need to connect the dots for your reader.
Paint a picture of what those features will do for them.  How will it improve their lives?  How will it change their circumstances and experiences?
Here’s the same copy with the volume cranked up by a “second punch” (benefit) added to each bullet …
To clarify, let’s back up a moment and break it all down.
Say for example that you sell t-shirts and one of the features is that your shirts are made from 100% pima cotton.
Remember, our job as sales people is to connect ALL of the dots for our prospects.
Don’t leave anything up for their interpretation.  Spell it out for them and list the benefit of that cotton; soft against the skin.
Now here’s where things can get really interesting.  You have the opportunity with your bullets to deliver a one-two punch, which in this case will explain one benefit and quickly connect it with another within the same bullet.
Let’s go back to our t-shirt example.  100% pima cotton is our feature.  Soft against the skin is our benefit.  But there are other benefits to wearing cotton clothing that’s soft against the skin …

Wear it all day for chafe free comfort


Ideal for layering without getting itchy


Feels so good you’ll think you’re naked

Now let’s choose the naked example (for fun) to craft our one-two punch bullet …

  • Crafted of 100% pima cotton that’s soft against the skin and feels so good you’ll think you’re naked.

How to apply this to your business

You can do this with the copy you have right now very easily.  You don’t have to rewrite anything.  You’re just adding a few words.  And honestly, they’re words that are already in your head.  You’re not writing anything new.  You’re just saying out loud what you thought was obvious.
It’s not obvious… not to a lazy prospect.  So you MUST say it in the copy.
Now that you’re hip to this concept you’ll notice it everywhere.  Look around and you’ll see a handful of businesses doing this right (and lots of others missing the mark).
Here’s an example from Verizon Wireless.  At least one of their bullets made the cut …
But there are obviously lots of examples that don’t utilize this strategy and miss BIG opportunities to get more sales.
This example shows how U-Haul’s missing a chance to increase transaction value.  Check it out …
First of all, they’re assuming that all people who might need to book a U-Haul storage unit online are smart, have had enough sleep, and are feeling sharp.
That’s not reality.
The reality is that we need it all spelled out for us.  We need the dots connected because we’re lazy readers, busy people, and there’s a lot competing for our attention.
I’m betting that U-Haul would increase their transaction size if they included the italicized copy I added below:

  • 24-hour unit access:  Because you just never know when you might need access to all your stuff.  That birth certificate that you packed up by accident might be exactly what you need to find at 3am before you head out of town on vacation.  We’ll let you in.
  • Outdoor drive-up storage so you can pull right up to your unit just like you would a garage and access everything you need without encountering stairs.
  • Climate-controlled units so you can have peace of mind that your artwork, collectibles, and other delicate items aren’t subject to extreme temperatures that can cause irreversible damage.
  • RV and boat storage – gives you control over when you access your vehicle so you can enjoy the recreation you planned on when you made the investment on your terms.

I would bet very good money on this copy INCREASING transaction size.  Seriously… I should call U-Haul.
Anyway, are you getting the idea?

Here’s an EXERCISE for you…

Revamp the bullets on your landing page, adding the “second” punch, and split-test the results. (leave comments here reporting the results)!
If you don’t have a landing page…  work with what you’ve got.  Revamp the copy on your home page or anywhere else you’re using bullets.
Remember, to get a true reading you need to just change one thing.  Not two or twelve.  So, rework your current bullets to include a second benefit and track the response.

Julie Boswell

Julie Boswell

Julie operates a copywriting and consulting business she cofounded,, a company dedicated to providing a second set of eyes for business owners.  Their focus is on teaching the fundamentals of direct response copywriting, reviewing and providing feedback for improvement, as well as providing done-for-you copywriting services.

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