[Landing Page Critique] How Would You Improve This High-Converting Landing Page?

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September 09,2014 by
Russ Henneberry

Ok… here’s the situation:

We’ve got (and admittedly I’m biased) the smartest and most generous community of digital marketers in the world in Digital Marketer Lab.

This landing page was submitted for review by DM Lab member Jason Regan in our private Digital Marketer Engage mastermind group.

The Digital Marketer Lab community gave Jason their feedback on the following questions:

  • What is done well on this landing page?
  • What would you change/test to attempt to boost conversions?

Jason reported that this landing page is converting well to cold Facebook ad traffic but he’s having trouble making it work with Google Adwords.

You can see Jason’s live landing page here.

Here’s a screenshot…

Landing Page Critique

Here’s what Digital Marketer Lab members had so say about what was done well and what could be improved on this landing page.  (NOTE:  We’d love to hear how you would improve this landing page.  Give us your thoughts in the comments section.)

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If this is the very first page in the funnel, then I would suggest adding a lead magnet ahead of this that offers something for free to get their name and email address. The reason being is there is no place to capture leads and build the list and thus no follow up. As they say, “the fortune is in the follow up”.
~ Kathy HadleyDM Lab Member

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I like the countdown timer, the social proof with media logos and testimonials. Like the guarantee. Like the guarantee headline. Like the hero image*. *might use a more attractive dog.

  • I’d test the headline. Maybe even do two different landing pages, one for those attracted to the ‘bling/flair’ and one for those interested in the Lost Dog avoidance. Copy is a bit incongruent. Not really ‘solid’ with either target market. I like the database idea…and the flyer ease if your dog gets lost, and would play that up for that market.
  • I’d test the large dog image for a dog looking into the page, maybe at the product image…or the button.
  • I’d test the button copy. Remove the word ‘online’. or sub ‘Now’.
  • I’d test the price/discount. (lower, like $7-10)
  • I’d test the funnel…start with a lead magnet. “Top tips to keep your dog from getting lost”… with a highlighted tip being a clear and easy to read id tag.

Maybe test removing the ‘other product available’ section. Even though there are no links, I might want to search so I could view the option.
There is no direct way to follow up for those who don’t buy right away, unless you retarget?
Great product idea!
~ Kathy KawalecDM Lab Member

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Have info boxes pop up when people click on your images that explains a little more about the image/guarantee/etc. Many people click on images on a page and can click off the page when nothing happens. If you have heat mapping on this page then it may show whether this is happening.

Also is there a cookie you can put on your site that’ll tell the timer if the person has been on the page before. Offer countdown is great but resets if I refresh or revisit the page which makes it seem a little bit deceitful.
~ Paul CoxDM Lab Member

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landing-page-critique-image-4I think the splitting of the page into two sections works well, one above the fold where the first call to action can be seen and then more detail below the fold as well.

In order to boost conversions, I would test the following:

  • Make your call to action button a different colour. At the moment the predominant colour on the page is orange/red, so the CTA doesn’t stand out much
  • Reduce the number of individual elements in the above-the-fold section. Currently I count nine blocks of text and graphics around the CTA button which is making my eye jump all over the place.
  • Change the pictures of Robbie and Princess (the dogs) to include their owner. I was asking myself: Are you saying you got a direct quote from the dogs themselves?
    Nick SkillicornDM Lab Member

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I like the logo and paw prints as bullets but I’m afraid the whole thing was too busy for me. Could it be simplified, perhaps show a video clip of where it’s been featured, explain how the data base works, give a testimonal from someone who lost their dog, went through all the heartache and then has been reunited with their dog because of PetIDMe. Agree with Paul Cox about the timer.
David WalkerDM Lab Member

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I think the page is too busy. I’m inundated with too many offers in the top part of the page and it gets confusing what I’m getting: $14.99 special price, 25% off entire order, ends today, coupon code, customized, etc.

Simplify the message. Bigger fonts, reduce redundancy, make use of a bulleted list for the features/benefits of your offer rather than have them scattered all over the place.

I think your three big bullets have some disconnect: Lost dog? YES! But bling and flair.

There’s no bling or flair on these dog tags and I doubt it’s big selling point when people are looking for pet IDs. Security and safety is the most compelling selling factor. If they are after style, then show how they’re stylish because they look like basic luggage tags in all the images.

Good guarantee. Put more focus on the 365 day return policy.

Testimonials are good but make them easier to read. Put all 3 in columns in a single row, perhaps.

Use much bigger call to action buttons and probably change the color so it stands out from all the other red elements of your page.

I would remove the “More Products Available” section at the bottom. More choices leads to less action and they’re not clickable so they don’t add to the offer but make me think twice about taking the offer.

Good luck!
~ Graham EnglishDM Lab Member

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What’s done well:

  • The red special price logo (and the dog looking at it)
  • The countdown timer
  • The “as seen on” logos
  • Benefit bullet points
  • Testimonials

What can be improved:

  • Lose the “PetIDMe” headline, and replace it with “Never worry about loosing your pet again”
  • A brief explanation of benefits at the area where the large photo of the tag is (instead of all the “discount” remarks)
    ~ Faisal AbdullahDM Lab Member

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Social Proof

The social proof with the “As Seen In” logos gives you credibility.

The page is, in my opinion, far too complicated. This makes it extremely difficult to understand your value prop. Take a look at Whistle.com for a good, clean landing page.

They don’t have a direct opt-in or CTA but the page makes me want to check it out and click.

I think you need to much clearer about what problems you’re solving – i.e. what happens when people lose their dog? How do they feel? What do they experience? How unbelievably difficult is it to find their dog? How gut-wrenching… and how they can solve all of that for a mere $15.

Presenting it in this light is a no-brainer for anyone who loves their dog (and, really, who doesn’t?). Plus, you’ve now communicated to them that you understand them, and you’ll more effectively frame yourself as someone who has solutions to all things pet-related.

Given how much money people spend on their pets, this can open you up to massive opportunities.

Take a look at Instapage or Lander App for good, visually appealing landing page templates. (I’ll add that my background is in agency-level brand design and strategy, and it’s my opinion that great design always sells better than crappy design – especially when combined with the effective techniques taught in the DM Lab.)

Hope this helps… good luck!
~ Pete DavisDM Lab Member

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Hey Jason, since the page is already converting from cold traffic then you’re already doing GREAT!

However since there’s always room for improvement here are my thoughts on what to test to boost conversions…

As mentioned the page is busy. I like to look at a page and notice where my eye goes (and if it creates a natural path for me to follow). For me I hit the images and then maybe the Create My Tag Online button but my eye starts bouncing all over the place pretty quickly.

I would try…

  • A larger headline that focused on the pain like “What Would You Do If You Lost Your Dog?”
  • Smaller brown dog image side by side with the large tag image (and switch sides so he’s looking towards the tag)
  • Single column with headline, image, caption “For owners who want to keep their dog safe”, then bigger buy button in a different color with the discount price underneath (and maybe the timer to the side), then credibility logos (all of this above the fold)
  • I would have a dog page and a cat page (plus others) to target more specifically (cat owners want to see pictures of cats). I figure dog owners are your biggest buyers by far based on the images on your landing page and website.
  • Below the fold put the copy in one column in a much bigger, readable font. If I’m 33, have perfect eye sight and have to strain to read it then something is horribly wrong.  Also that copy should draw out your big benefits again and test whether bling is the right angle like Graham said. Perhaps “My friends kept asking me where I got it” is more appealing (people like positive attention) or worded in another way.
  • Make a bigger deal of the guarantee. It’s a great guarantee but I wouldn’t have noticed if Graham hadn’t mentioned it.
  • You might want to emphasize the National Pet Database more. Maybe just a blue text with arrow like the other parts. This might add value above it just being a tag and you can sell it more below.
  • After the click, split your tag creation steps over two pages so you’re engaging commitment and consistency. If I hit that second page and found I didn’t know Height or Weight then I would STOP the buy process and probably forget all about it.

On the first page put the easy questions and also use this to collect contact details (this could serve as a lead magnet too) so you can follow up the non-completes or let them create a reduced tag for bits they want to leave off.

I would do State, Pet’s name, Breed, Sex, Phone, Email on the first page.

Then on the second page put Additional Info and make it optional. Also make it more obvious Address, City, Zip Code are all optional (the note is small).

I’m half and half on whether to put the photo on the first page or the second. It’s fun for them to choose but could be distracting and they might never be happy, think “I’ll take a new photo later” and STOP.

All in all it’s great that you’ve got a page that’s working effectively. Those are the major things I’d test/tweak and you’ve got a ton of great advice form others as well so look forward to hearing your results.

I love DM Lab!
~ Craig DeweDM Lab Member

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Do you have a landing page for cats as well? I wonder if a LP with a cat pic would convert better for people with cats? If you do that, some interests to look for in FB when setting your ads would be Jackson Galaxy and Cat Lovers Only.
Way to go. Great site. Great product.
~ Susanna Miles, DM Lab Member

Here’s what Jason had to say…

Landing Page Critique - Thank you

Jason is a valuable and experienced member of Digital Marketer Lab himself — and we’re thrilled to have him as a member.

So… what about you?  What do you think is done well on this landing page?  What would you test to improve conversions?

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About Russ Henneberry

Russ Henneberry is the Editorial Director at Digital Marketer. He's worked on digital marketing projects for companies like CrazyEgg, Salesforce.com and Network Solutions. You can connect with Russ on Twitter, LinkedIn, or Google+.

View all Posts by Russ Henneberry